We bid good riddance to 2012 in a blaze of bourbon-and-bao-fueled glory, so what now? What’s in store for our favorite TV shows, most-anticipated book drops, and most outrageous food personalities in the year 2013? We put our achy heads together and came up with a Braiser-approved list of predictions, which you can sure-footedly cite at your next food-nerd-inundated party, and totally sound like you know what you’re talking about.
There's no cross domain hackery or tracking voodoo, it's just some sweet jQuery animations.
Please, think of the animations.
In the meantime, enjoy the html version below. I guess. If that's your thing.
Alton Brown's Twitter Parody Will Be Brilliant
More celeb chef Twitter parody accounts in the vein of
will arise, but the most popular will be Angry Bobby Flay Scavenger Hunt Alton Brown, who will post a complicated series of links leading to the answer of whatever food question you pose.
Anthony Bourdain's CNN Takeover
Anthony Bourdain will rise through the ranks at CNN and curse out Wolf Blitzer on-air. Bourdain will become a CNN superstar. Blitzer will become super jealous of his success and taze him on-air a la , then try to sabotage his career. Rick Sanchez
Top Chef: Seattle Finale
Top Chef: Seattle's finale will be Kristen versus CJ, who will continue winning Last Chance Kitchens until then.
Danny Bowien will snag a James Beard nom.
Detroit = The New Portland
Detroit will become the new Portland, ie., The Next Big Food City.
. Andrew Zimmern and Graham Elliot called it
Fresh Off the Boat = The New Kitchen Confidential
Fresh Off the Boat will become the fresh, new Kitchen Confidential.
More Ramsay Lawsuits
Gordon Ramsay's father will accidentally sue him for something he's already sued him for.
Hugh Acheson Gets A Book Deal
Hugh Acheson will get a book deal. The funny memoir kind, not the cooking kind.
Ruth Bourdain Remains Under Wraps
Ruth Bourdain will successfully make it through 2013 without being unveiled, possibly even in spite of a TV appearance.
What Happened To Brian Malarkey?
While we like to think
The Taste will skyrocket Brian Malarkey back to the lovable fame he deserves, his "makeover" will be so obnoxious that he'll become the most hated TV personality since Seacrest.
Top Chef Season 11
Top Chef Season 11 will take place in New Orleans.