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10 30 Rock Flavors Ben And Jerry’s Should Have Used Instead

A few days ago, Ben and Jerry’s teased an exciting new flavor honoring 30 Rock and its creator, Tina Fey, just in time for its the series finale. Considering Liz Lemon’s love of strange, hyper-salty, Bloomberg-condemned foods (and hatred of bald salad ruiners), we got hyped… until they released the actual flavor yesterday. It’s a Greek frozen yogurt (playing off Tina Fey’s Greek heritage), flavored with lemon (playing off the name Liz Lemon — oh, come on). We’ll give you a wild guess what it’s called.

From a company that gave us such awesomeness as Stephen Colbert’s Americone Dream, Alec Baldwin’s Schweddy Balls, and Phish Food, you’d think they’d come up with something more creative, or at least plumb the depths of 30 Rock’s food references (which we’ve done! It’s not that hard!).  These would all be great flavors, yes?

  1. Night Cheese: Marscapone, with swirls of marmalade and brie
  2. Sabor de Soledad: Ahora, con mas semen del toro
  3. Nerds!: Lemon sorbet with Nerds candies
  4. Cheesy Blasters: You take a hot dog, stuff it with some jack cheese, put it in some ice cream. Thanks, Meat Cat!
  5. Al Gore: Marshmallow icebergs and chocolate whales in trouble.
  6. Hill People Milk: Chocolate ice cream with moonshine cherries
  7. Muffin Top: Soft-serve frozen yogurt with muffin chunks
  8. Chocolate, Chocolate, Chocolate! ACK!: Chocolate ice cream with chocolate ganache-filled chocolate truffle chunks.
  9. Plunder: a $1000 pint with Tahitian-vanilla-bean ice cream with swirls of cognac and world’s most expensive chocolate (Amadei Porcelana), with shaved white, black, and clear truffles, and edible 25-karat gold leaf. Or a McFlurry.
  10. Teamster Sandwich: An ice cream with chunks of ice cream sandwiches in it. That’s both an amazing idea and also sort of messed. You’re welcome, Ben and Jerry’s.

Instead, we are stuck with an ice cream flavor that sounds like it’s marketed towards middle-aged yoga moms with perfect bodies who like eating yogurt. Shut it down.

[The Village Voice]

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