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WATCH: Actor Tells Batali To Lay Off The Pork, Accuses Daphne Oz Of ‘Eating Like Oprah’

We smell a new sitcom in the making: “Everybody Fears Brad Garrett.” The dude dominated his segment on The Chew yesterday, leveling (good-spirited) criticism on nearly everyone. He delivered impersonations of Italian grandmas, Ray Romano, and free-range chickens about to die, but by far his most successful bits were his roasts of The Chew’s esteemed panel of hosts.

“We all know that pork is the lord’s candy, but you gotta bring it down a bit. I’m worried about you,” he soothed to Mario Batali. “Now your blood type is caramel, am I correct?”

YIKES. Of course, they didn’t cook up a pork dish for the very Jewish Garrett, but they did make a rather delicious smelling fried calzone together.

“Can you smell it?” he asked Daphne Oz. “I know you had the nose done, can you still smell?” YA GOT BURNT. Then, in response to Daphne’s apparent gluttony, Brad fired off:

“You’re the health expert, aren’t you? You were eating like Oprah on hiatus over there. What are you doing? Slow. Down. You know I used to get meds from your father. He gave me the Cialis patch.”

We won’t ruin the whole segment for you, but check out Brad’s appearance (Parts 1 and 2) below for more on Mario’s scrunchies, a dissection of the term “extra virgin,” and an innocent mistaking of Batali for Emeril. Michael Symon called it the funniest episode of The Chew to date.

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