Celebrity chefs: we think we know them so well. We think we know how they’re going to cook, or what they’re going to endorse, or even what sort of jokes they’re going to tell. But chefs are people, too, and when they surprise us, boy do they surprise us. 2012 was a year where the shocks just got bigger and bigger, and here are the 11 that made our heads spin.
There's no cross domain hackery or tracking voodoo, it's just some sweet jQuery animations.
Please, think of the animations.
In the meantime, enjoy the html version below. I guess. If that's your thing.
Paula Deen's Diabetes/Drug Endorsement Announcements
This was not shocking purely because everyone (particularly a certain Mr. Bourdain) expected Paula Deen to develop some sort of diabetes. This was shocking because the moment she announced her diagnosis to
Al Roker, she immediately announced that she was now the spokesman of a diabetes drug. Even and still she went through with it! Oprah told her that this was a bad idea, Why wouldn't she listen to Oprah?! That's akin to scorning God, even though the endorsement deal was, according to Deen, "a sign from God" to go public! Paula, you are not so good at PR strategy.
Cat Cora's DUI
We no longer live in a world where
Cat Cora's mugshot never existed. Thankfully no one was hurt (except the feelings of a certain nerd), but we would like to remind you that Cat Cora got a DUI.
Guy Fieri's Organic Garden
Let's play free association: Guy Fieri: Corn-dogging grease-trap. Guy Fieri: flame-bo shirts. Guy Fieri: Pete Wells. Guy Fieri: Organic farming advocate?! Oh dear. We have lost the Guy Fieri free association game, and it's all because of
this early October interview with Food Republic, where he revealed that he had a huge organic garden: "I am looking at right now with 10 different peppers, three different kales and tomatoes galore."
Anthony Bourdain Moves To CNN
Pop culture lovers never imagined their favorite ex-junkie/ex-chef ending up on a renowned cable news network, flying to eat in the world's hottest war zones and remote corners for news. Apparently,
neither did Anthony Bourdain: "We then sent them three of our most fucked up shows," he told Gawker, "and asked: 'Are you sure you want to a show with US?'" (Is it too much to hope that Bourdain does a show with Jake Tapper? Nowadays it's possible!)
Rachael Ray Gets Really Dirty At Anthony Bourdain's Roast
New York Wine and Food Festival, we watched the normally squeaky-clean Rachael describe some of the filthiest sex acts that one could do with a celebrity chef, ever. As our mouths gaped at her vivid depiction of how she'd Monica Lewinsky Mario Batali, we thought: could Rachael Ray be Ruth Bourdain?
Elizabeth Falkner's Early Elimination On
Next Iron Chef: Redemption
On her first season of
Next Iron Chef, Falkner came in second to the eventual winner, Geoffrey Zakarian, and was slated as a frontrunner during her run on Next Iron Chef: Redemption. Instead, thanks to the evil stylings of saffron, Falkner was the sixth person eliminated. A sad departure, to be sure, but even worse when you realize that she left before Marcel Vigneron, who just would not die like a pesky weed.
Heston Blumenthal's Obsession With GIANT FOODS
We, like anybody with taste and appreciation for artistry, marvel at Heston Blumenthal's outsized imaginative zeal, and respect his accomplishments. So we are indeed surprised at his new television show where he makes
GIANT VERSIONS OF TRADITIONAL BRITISH FOODS, just, y'know, BECAUSE. (And no one can really pretend that they're buying his explanation of "bringing a sense of magic and whimsy to the way Brits look at food." Heston just wanted to light a giant pudding on fire, as one does.)
The BIG TWIST On
Top Chef: Seattle
CJ Jacobsen, Season 2's Josie Smith-Malave, and Season 5's Stefan Richter showed up on the first episode ostensibly to judge. "HAHAHAHAHA, psych," said Padma, and then gave them the blue jackets that marked them forever as chef gladiators. There are only two ways to be free of the jacket: victory, or death (or Last Chance Kitchen).
Paula Deen Loses 30 Pounds
And after all
that went down, no one really expected Paula Deen to actually go through with a lifestyle change (especially since she refused to forgo butter). And then she lost 30 pounds. And then she made her husband lose weight with her. And we were left scrambling for words, our snarkiness failing us.
Pete Wells' Brutal Review Of Guy Fieri's Times Square Restaurant
Everyone expected that the
New York Times, if it would deign to visit the restaurant of groundlings and plebians, would not look favorably on Guy's American Kitchen and Bar. No one expected that Wells would write a , composed entirely of questions and so vicious that Guy Fieri himself openly wondered magnum opus of takedowns whether Wells had an agenda.
Dr. Phil Reveals That The
NYT Threw A Party At Guy' Fieri's Restaurant
Here is our reporting on the most awkwardly planned party the New York Times has ever thrown. Protip: don't host an event at a restaurant on the day your editorial team plans on dropping a goose egg of a review.