Domino’s UK Responds to Man Claiming Pizza Sex Injury by Slut-Shaming Itself on Twitter
You know what, guys? Domino’s UK is being pretty awful re: this guy who tweeted at them about burning himself trying to make love to one of their pizzas. Behold the entire interaction, as it unfolded, below:
.@Dominos_UK HELLO I'VE JUST MADE LOVE TO ONE OF YOUR PIZZAS AND BURNT MY PENIS SEVERELY. PLEASE ADVISE ON YOUR TERMS FOR A REFUND. THANKS.
— LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014
@NotArsedLike @ITK_AGENT_VIGO Please contact our head office – comments@dominos.co.uk regarding this matter.
— Domino's Pizza UK (@Dominos_UK) February 24, 2014
.@Dominos_UK DISGUSTING FOB OFF,YOUR STAFF SHOULD INFORM CUSTOMERS ABOUT THE DANGERS OF MAKING LOVE TO YOUR PIZZA. WHY IS THIS NOT IN PLACE?
— LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014
@ITK_AGENT_VIGO Our apologies, we will look for a way to notify customers of this in future. Thank you for bringing this to our attention.
— Domino's Pizza UK (@Dominos_UK) February 24, 2014
.@Dominos_UK I'M NOT HAPPY ABOUT THIS, NOT HAPPY AT ALL, I HAVE A MULTITUDE OF PEPPERONI PIECES STUCK TO MY BALLS AND MY PENIS IS SCORCHED.
— LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014
@ITK_AGENT_VIGO As you have previously been advised, please email our head office about this
— Domino's Pizza UK (@Dominos_UK) February 24, 2014
.@Dominos_UK LOOK, I'VE TRIED EMAILING YOUR HEAD OFFICE WITH NO SUCCESS BUT NOW THE PIZZA WANTS TO GIVE ME A BLOW JOB, PLEASE ADVISE.
— LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014
@indiantank @ITK_AGENT_VIGO It is definitely recommended, as that is not what is expected of our pizzas. We raised them better than that!
— Domino's Pizza UK (@Dominos_UK) February 24, 2014
You raised them better than what? Offering blow jobs? Aren’t you guys being a little paternalistic and gross, slut-shaming a pizza for offering oral sex? Who are you, Domino’s UK, to impose some bullshit standards of chastity and morality on a free-thinking, independent sexual pizza being that you, yourselves, created? TO QUOTE CONCEPTUAL ARTIST SOPHIA WALLACE, “ALL BODIES ARE ENTITLED TO EXPERIENCE THE PLEASURE THEY ARE CAPABLE OF.” Who are you, Domino’s to strip a pizza body of its desires?
You guys think on that.
[h/t Gawker]
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