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Dylan’s Candy Bar Employees Demand Living Wage Because They’re Not Oompa-Loompas

Perhaps inspired by the wave of fast-food employees petitioning for living wages, the workers at the famous Dylan’s Candy Bar launched a petition demanding better wages and working conditions from their employers. This caught many people by surprise, mainly because few realized that the employees at Dylan’s Candy Bar were in fact human beings, and not, as everyone assumed, Oompa-Loompas.

Unlike Oompa-Loompas, the famous orange workers employed by legendary chocolatier Willy Wonka, the staffers at Dylan’s Candy Bar want the world to know that they would like to be paid a reasonable amount ($13.50/hour), and not in cocoa beans and green lederhosen. “Most of us started at less than $10/hour, with some of us even making as low as $8.50,” they write in their MoveOn.org petition. “We’re supposed to get annual reviews for raises, but they often forget to give us those.”

They would also like to not live in the factory:

On top of the low wages, our schedules and hours change week to week. Nearly the entire sales staff is part time, yet they expect us to have open availability, making it nearly impossible for us to juggle other obligations such as second jobs, school, and family. They refuse to give us any guarantee of the amount of hours we will work each week, and yet they get angry with us when we look for a second job.

“But why not unionize?” one might ask. They had tried, but as they put it, the managers “simply told us that any issues regarding compensation could only be addressed in one-on-one meetings with managers and not together as a group.” And yeah, that makes sense — Oompa-Loompas only get together in a group when they need to lecture children about their naughty behavior.

Barring their ability to come up with a dance and a clever Oompa-Loompa-Doopity-Dition, they would like you to sign their petition — they need 2,000 signatures to present to corporate management. Doompity-doo.

[h/t The Daily Meal]

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3 thoughts on “Dylan’s Candy Bar Employees Demand Living Wage Because They’re Not Oompa-Loompas

  1. It is unconscionable that Dylan Lauren pulls in $25 million per year from the hard work of her associates and yet refuses to give them such basic rights as a decent wage and schedule. Good luck to the Dylan’s workers!!

  2. I completely agree. How much would Ms. Lauren’s life change if she made 15 or 20 million per year instead of 25 million so that she could pay her workers a living wage? How many BMWs, mansions, and vacation homes does one person need?

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