Hostess Company Is Saved From Bankruptcy; Now Give Us Back Our Damn Twinkies
Good news for people who like fat news: Hostess will not go bankrupt! Hostess, our poor, sweet supplier of Ding-Dongs and Sno-Balls and yellow cakes that were as radioactive as yellowcake, shall not go sweetly into that dark night due to poor management. Instead, the company announced today that it had been bought out by the Georgia-based Flowers Food.
The one tiny embarrassing thing: though the auction for the company was scheduled for this Thursday, no one had made a competing offer against Flowers’s leading bid of $360 million — which is a bargain, considering Hostess brings in $2.5 billion per year. A bankruptcy court still must approve of the deal, according to Reuters; still, we assume that Hostess is so ashamed of its failure to succeed, since it declined to comment on it imminent sale to the lame-o owners of the Tastykake.
But whatever, Ding-Dongs for everyone! (Ring-a-ding, ding-ding-dong.)