This is what happens when you live in a palatial estate in Bedford, New York: you're so woefully out of touch that you allow Terry Richardson to come shoot you and your pets for Net-A-Porter and then remark "oh, he's so cute!" after he leaves.
A while ago, Gordon Ramsay announced that he was retiring from the cooking television business. The world was like, Oh no, what will television be like without a Ramsay, etc. But now it appears that he is passing on his grand television legacy to his heir: a 12-year-old girl.
Have you not seen the spoof of HBO’sGirls, starring Laraine Newman as Hannah Horvath and Wendie Malick as Marnie Michaels 36 years into the future? Well you should, because it’s pretty fucking spot-on, plus it’s the cultural zeitgeist, plus it’s five days old, so all your friends have seen it already, and you’re probably definitely missing out on some references.
What does this have to do with us? Well besides being deeply concerned with your cultural educations, Girls Season 38 has given us a powerful glimpse into how hipsters of the future will eat. Obviously, Hannah’s stuffing her face for the entire time she isn’t getting boned (by Martin goddamn Starr), and this provides useful information on what the foodscape of Greenpoint circa 2049 will look like. Below, a helpful slideshow of all the foods consumed on Girls Season 38.