But, in our thorough research, we have come to one very obvious conclusion: if you want to go as a food this year for Halloween, just don't. Food costumes only work for the pets and the children. (And even the kids don't come away fully unscathed.)
Have you not seen the spoof of HBO’sGirls, starring Laraine Newman as Hannah Horvath and Wendie Malick as Marnie Michaels 36 years into the future? Well you should, because it’s pretty fucking spot-on, plus it’s the cultural zeitgeist, plus it’s five days old, so all your friends have seen it already, and you’re probably definitely missing out on some references.
What does this have to do with us? Well besides being deeply concerned with your cultural educations, Girls Season 38 has given us a powerful glimpse into how hipsters of the future will eat. Obviously, Hannah’s stuffing her face for the entire time she isn’t getting boned (by Martin goddamn Starr), and this provides useful information on what the foodscape of Greenpoint circa 2049 will look like. Below, a helpful slideshow of all the foods consumed on Girls Season 38.