Jamie Oliver’s Prized Black Swan Murdered By Fox (Or Was It An Evil Doppelganger?)
Jamie Oliver once owned a pair of rare black swans as pets, until one of them was viciously murdered by a fox yesterday morning.
“Really sad, the fox didn’t even eat a thing just tore up the mother,” he wrote on Instagram, snapping a very depressing photo of the two eggs the swan had been sitting on, covered in splashes of swan-blood.
Since we’d watched the Oscars last night, we immediately wondered whether the black swan had a psychotic break and imagined that it was being stalked by an evil double, and, in an unrelenting drive to achieve perfection in ballet, tried to murder all of her competitors and colleagues…only to discover that she had, in a metaphorical twist, murdered herself.
In reality, it was just a fox. “I got it on CCTV,” Jamie continued, jokingly remarking that he might just put fox on his menu next.
A spokesman for Oliver told the Daily Mail that Jamie is currently incubating the eggs and hopes to hatch them. Let’s hope that one of those eggs is not an Evil Doppelganger, though it would certainly make for good Oscar bait.