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Last Call: Damn, We Wish We Went To Aspen This Year

National Restaurant News: So much cool stuff went down at the Aspen Food and Wine Classic, such as: Mario Batali, Chris Cosentino and a group of ranchers discussing nose-to-tail dining.

Eater: Also at Aspen, Grant Achatz, David Chang, and Wylie Dufresne on the future of restaurant criticism.

Tumblr: In other chef news, Empellon started a Tumblr to archive all of their online activity. It’s filled with intensely colorful food porn, and up-close-and-personal access to Alex Stupak’s life (maybe someday?).

NPR: As our Earth’s resources dwindle thanks to the ever-hungry maw of consumerism, Bill Gates has decided to use his infinite money to invest in a solution to our biggest problem: where the hell are we gonna get our future eggs? (The answer: powdered egg substitute!) Also, where are we gonna get our future bacon? (Legitimate question.)

The New York Times: Feds seized a string of 7-Elevens in Long Island and Virginia whose owners are suspected of hiring and paying dozens of illegal immigrants using fake Social Security numbers. (Now, incidentally, is a bad time to smoke pot in Long Island and Virginia.)

Gawker: Fast food dining asshole of the day, go.

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