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Last Call: The Turtwinkie Is A Real Thing Sold By A Real Catering Company

Eatocracy: It’s already Thanksgiving in The Situation Room. You know how we can tell? This piece on “The Turtwinkie,” which, no, is not a really offensive gay slur, but a roast turkey glazed with Twinkie filling, and then stuffed with the de-creamed Twinkie shells. We hate Twinkies, now, officially, and forever. Thanks, CNN.

Fresh Off The Boat: We feel very strongly that Eddie Huang’s memoir Fresh Off The Boat is going to be the new Kitchen Confidential (an inkling we could confirm if we received an advanced copy), and this blog post by Eddie on irony and Josh Ozersky’s purportedly “overrated” Brooklyn reminded us why: because Eddie Huang is everything we love about Lena Dunham minus everything we find infuriatingly annoying about Lena Dunham.

New York Daily News: You’ll never ever in a million years guess what the cannibal cop was planning for Thanksgiving dinner. And we quote: “girl meat.” Bail: STILL DENIED.

The Globe and Mail: Here’s a weak argument for celebrity chefs versus restaurant chefs through the lens of Fieri-gate, made weaker by the fact that David Sax seems to think that “Rachel” Ray left her restaurant behind to start a TV show. Ummm.

Gawker: Gawker’s takedown of Slate’s 2008 “it’s hard out here for a food writer” Thanksgiving piece is flawless.

TODAY: The Today Show officially ruined Thanksgiving by inviting Eat This Not That author David Zinczenko to tell us exactly how many calories were in our Thanksgiving favorites, along with comparative plates heaped with absurd amounts of other foods to show us their equivalent. Then he showed us healthier alternatives. Conclusion: just stop. It’s Thanks-goddamned-giving.

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