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Last Call: Run Away from Your Cubicle and Never Look Back, for It Is a Long Weekend

Eater: A Scottish chef tweeted a photo of him holding the severed head of a critic, after said critic panned his restaurant. If he’d had Labor Day to look forward to, maybe he would have been more relaxed.

Grub Street: Acclaimed writer Junot Díaz tracks five random days where he ate in New York City. A two-city guy, he wasn’t in New York much this summer, but if he were here for Labor Day, he could have eaten here for three days straight.

Buzzfeed: A reporter dives deep into the lucrative, fraught world of Maine elver fishing, and the gangs, extortion, and potential environmental disaster rooted in the world’s hunger for baby eels. If only everyone had Labor Day to look forward to, maybe they wouldn’t decimate the world’s eel population.

Men’s Fitness: Australian chef Adonis Curtis Stone shares his tips for slimming down while on vacation. If only he had Labor Day, he wouldn’t have gotten fat. Oh wait. Never mind.

The Brooklyn Kitchen: Fake person Ruth Bourdain/real person Josh Friedland will be talking about her/his book at an event on September 10th. You know what that event is after? Labor Day. Get outta here.

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