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Last Call: KFC Announces Deep-Fried Soup, Will Soon Attempt to Fry Air, Dreams

Jezebel: While we understand that yes, deep-frying can be a religion, does it transgress the natural laws written by God Himself to deep-fry soup, like KFC is doing in Japan with a corn potage? Is KFC the new Victor Frankenstein? Will this soup turn on its creator?

ThinkProgress: The damn dirty socialists in Boston have announced that students in public schools will now get free breakfast and lunch during the school year, regardless of their family’s income. Good job, People’s Republic of Cambridge.

LA Times: Chef Jeremy Fox, formerly of Ubuntu, previews his Santa Monica restaurant Rustic Canyon, and mentions that he loves working with dehydrated corn. Good on you, Jeremy Fox! Fight the soupification of corn and the fry-tastrophe in the making that KFC hath wrought upon the world with deep-fried corn soup!

Eater: TV host and brain-possessing person Alton Brown previews his nationwide tour, and cryptically explains why his audience will need ponchos. Oh, we dunno, is it to protect them from the deep fried soup abomination?! (OKAY WE MIGHT BE SCARED.)

New York Times: Here’s to the power ladies who power lunch, and if you’re not power lunching as you Build Your Brand with every meal you eat, then you’re not Sheryl Sandberg-ing hard enough, and you’re a failure to feminism, and Susan B. Anthony would cry over your treachery to your gender. CUT YOUR OVARIES OUT.

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