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Last Call: Adam Richman In The Shower, Plus Five Really Bad Food Marketing Ideas

Bizarre Foods: In order to promote the newest season of Bizarre Foods, Andrew Zimmern decides to ask a more famous friend of his to promote the show. Of course, this is how Adam Richman does it. Enjoy this, because the next few entries in this Last Call are horrible.

The Huffington Post: Point one that the world is full of depravity: in order to corner the much-coveted breakfast soda market, Mountain Dew has released a new beverage called KickStart, “that has Mountain Dew flavor but is made with 5 percent juice and Vitamins B and C, along with an extra jolt of caffeine.” We have no jokes for this.

Eater: Point number two that the world is full of corruption and sin: McDonald’s France has released a line of limited-edition burgers featuring beloved French cheeses, such as Camembert, chevre, Comte, and Raclette. Obviously, the French are displeased with this endeavor — especially with the part where the Camembert isn’t actually from Camembert, but rather from Brittany (the French version of Shelbyville).

Grub Street: Point three is that Maker’s Mark is watering down its famous bourbon, reducing the alcohol content by 3% in order to respond to an increase in demand. Great. Now we have to feel 3% more suffering when we drink ourselves into a stupor to shield us from the world’s problems. Thanks, Maker’s Mark.

PR Newswire: Point Four comes from the Casanovas at Pizza Hutwho have launched a Valentine’s Day-themed Twitter giveaway, where lucky winners will receive “one bottle of the famous fragrance, Eau de Pizza Hut, and a $20 Pizza Hut gift card — which can be used to order a Lover’s® Pizza or the newest innovation from Pizza Hut, Big Pizza Sliders”! There is only one way that this could go wrong: you could end up accidentally eating your lover and screwing your pizza.

The Daily Meal: Point five: Ziggy Marley really wants to open a Jamaican restaurant that serves, among other things, marijuana tea. Wait, this isn’t a bad idea. This isn’t a bad idea at all.

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