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Last Call: ‘Ello, Zees Ees Eric Ripert, And We Need To Zell All Of Ze Stock In Hostess

NYSE: No, silly, that’s not Eric Ripert in the alternate universe where he’s a day trader in the stock market! He was at the New York Stock Exchange today to ring the closing bell, as well as promote his charity City Harvest. But seriously, in the parallel universe where Ripert was a day trader, would his name be Patrick Bateman?

The Huffington Post: The devastation from the end of the Hostess company and Twinkie production did have one benefit: an artist from Reno, who uses Twinkies exclusively in her art, will soon run out of her material. It’s sort of horrifying, really; this woman is a snack food version of Andres Serrano. Non-pretentious readers may ask who that is, and we’ll definitely answer that by directing them here.

Gizmodo: This ramen soup bowl is designed to hold a smartphone, so a lonely, sad person can surf/chat with someone while eating by themselves. This may also be the perfect bowl for our times and thus the GREATEST BOWL EVER.

AJC.com: Fed up with the trend of using cool-but-unwieldy Mason jars as containers for beverages (with a certain Hugh Acheson being the worst offender), restaurant critic John Kessler smashes everything in an op-ed against the hipster glass. Acheson, you’re on notice.

Eater: A 2010 Sauvignon Blanc at Sel de Mer in Brooklyn is described as “cold and steely like Ryan Gosling in Drive.” Or is Ryan Gosling cold and steely like a Sauvignon Blanc? Whatever, we’ll drink both.

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