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Last Call: Joe Bastianich And Gail Simmons Are Destroying America, According To Dr. Oz

Eater: There’s an epidemic out there, according to Dr. Oz, and it’s making you gain weight and killing you slowly. It’s food porn. He drags prominent smut-peddlers Joe Bastianich and Gail Simmons onto his show, asking them to defend their lurid, hedonistic, disgusting industry from his piercing questions. A worthy moral crusade.

iO9: Sadly, Wonka wannabes (or Wonka wanna-bees) will never be able to get their hands on the honey produced by bees in France, who inadvertently made blue, green and red honey after collecting syrupy byproducts from a Mars Candy factory that makes M&Ms. This adorable incident is an exception to the rule that The Braiser hates bees.

Huffington Post: There is a book called 50 Shades Of Kale. Stop it. Seriously. Stop making everything appealing and sensuous by saying that there are 50 shades of it. Where is this going? 50 Shades Of Balut, starring Zac Efron??

The Price Hike: Bloomberg restaurant critic Ryan Sutton discovers, much to his consternation, that water at the new Barclays Center costs more than soda. Like, significantly more. The irony is that it comes right as the city cracks down on soda consumption. Jeezy, what are you doing?

Leeds Student: Critic Jay Rayner gets interviewed by a reporter at his old high school (er, “college;” the British do things differently) newspaper, and in return shows him a creepy shrine covered with a “mosaic of glossy Rayner faces cut from magazines and stuck onto the wall with blu-tak.” Yep.

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