PHOTOS: Things We Learned While Searching For Nude Chefs On The Internet
Unfortunately, Jamie Oliver has a serious monopoly on the search term “naked chef”. However, after some creative Googling, we still managed to dig up a few nudie pics of some of our fave Braiser subjects. Perhaps we didn’t find quite as many sexy chefs as we would have liked — but, we did learn that a lot of chicks fantasize about them.
We get it. They’re sexily arrogant in a way that begs to be tamed. They can fundamentally rock you to your epicurean core. There’s the inherently sensual natures of food and sex — and then they go and drop ideas into our heads about playing naked Twister with Posh and Becks. What’s sexier than playing naked Twister with Posh and Becks?!
Other things we learned: Cosmo has dedicated one of its ridiculous, overly alliterative, snappy listicles to “14 Sizzling Hot Chefs.” (Which is to say: You know you’ve made it when Cosmo calls you out for the man meat that you are.)
And lady-chefs have the same appeal! Who doesn’t love a strong, no-bullshit, take-no-prisoners female culinary badass? We have yet to stumble across any male bloggers who document their evenings of solo-satisfaction while watching Giada at Home, but that’s probably just because it comes out creepier and less cool than when a woman does it thinking about Eric Ripert and bleu cheese. Sorry, boys. Don’t hate us ’cause our sexual liberation is more fascinating than yours.
Unfortunately, now that we’ve made it okay for you to acknowledge your deep dark fantasies in a public forum, our actual nudie pic findings were slim. Fifty percent of this slideshow is made up of Anthony Bourdain. The other fifty percent is fan art. But, hopefully, this will be a nice springboard for you. So make yourself a nice romantic cheese plate and set your hedonistic imaginations free.