Scientists Discover That Texting With Vodka Fumes Is Possible
This is not a post about drunk texting. This is not “texting while under the influence of vodka.” This is “scientists using vodka as a physical means of telecommunication.” VODKA IS TELEPATHIC.
Okay, let’s backtrack here to convey, exactly, what the fine scientists at York University discovered that pure water and ethanol, AKA Party Fuel, can do. As Ars Technica explains, it’s not so much that the vodka can think for itself, but that vodka in its evaporated, gaseous form is really good at sending binary code:
The authors of the paper, published Thursday, used specific concentration levels of the vodka to represent bits 1 and 0. They wafted the “message” across 12 feet in the lab to the receiving unit, which read out the message as it detected the concentration of vodka in the air rising or falling over time.
While the researchers claim that this new discovery could be used in situations where there is no cellular reception (they point to underground, sewage-cleaning robots as an example), we’re seeing endless possibilities here for parties: vodka-based sexting! Vodka-based dick pics! Vodka-based selfies? What could you text with a vodka Red Bull?
Also of note: the first thing they vodka-texted to each other was the lyrics of “O, Canada”, which, honestly, is what we text all of the time when we’re drunk.
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