A Semen Mixology Handbook Now Exists, For When You’re Over The Lavender Cocktail Fad
Oh, you’ll down squid ink but you won’t harvest a little snake juice from your nearest healthy gentleman friend for an adventuresome cocktail? AMATEUR.
Semenology: The Semen Bartender’s Handbook is a new title (self-published, we’re assuming), touting the benefits of incorporating semen into your cocktails. The book contains recipes, along with tips on storage and flavor pairings.
Says the author, “People eat all kinds of weird stuff…Eggs are the menstruation of chickens. Milk is the mammary excretion from cows. Semen is…at least it’s fresh and you know who the producer is.”
He does, however, caution against sourcing your product from someone you wouldn’t also have sex with. Well, that does throw a wrench in things, doesn’t it.
In other news, we’ll never not be suspicious of a Brandy Alexander ever again.