“Sh*t Food Blogger” Preaches Way More Truth in Food Trends Than We’d Like to Admit in 8 Simple Tweets
For real, though — we have found our hail Mary saving grace in the food world. And we’d like to take this sassy broad out for drinks, just to see what else comes out.
If you haven’t been following along the Twitter and Tumblr rants of Shit Food Blogger, you’re missing out on some hilarity. And because this gal is not afraid to speak her mind, we get some real truths about the food industry — like these “food trends.” Presented without comment:
The Hot New Restaurant Trends That The NYT Isn't Brave Enough To Tell You About
— shit food blogger (@shitfoodblogger) September 3, 2014
Hot New Restaurant Trend 1: Servers no longer congratulate your choice of the kale salad.
— shit food blogger (@shitfoodblogger) September 3, 2014
Hot New Restaurant Trend 2: @ericripert installs a "fuck stall" in @LeBernardinNY's bathroom. @bflay immediately copies it.
— shit food blogger (@shitfoodblogger) September 3, 2014
[Editor’s note: This is going to happen eventually, isn’t it?]
Hot New Restaurant Trend 3: All the mixologists are taken out into the street to be shamed and shaved. Are called "bartenders" thereafter.
— shit food blogger (@shitfoodblogger) September 3, 2014
Hot New Restaurant Trend 4: Everyone stops giving a fuck about parkerhouse rolls.
— shit food blogger (@shitfoodblogger) September 3, 2014
Hot New Restaurant Trend 5: Chefs stop stealing from their servers' tips and wages.
— shit food blogger (@shitfoodblogger) September 3, 2014
Hot New Restaurant Trend 6: Pretty White Taco Jesus apologizes for appropriating Mexican cuisine. Goes back to making pastries.
— shit food blogger (@shitfoodblogger) September 3, 2014
[Editor’s note: For further reference on Pretty White Taco Jesus, see this.]
Hot New Restaurant Trend 7: Food writers stop and think about the bullshit for one goddamn second.
— shit food blogger (@shitfoodblogger) September 3, 2014
And yes, we are fully taking that last one into account.
For more of Shit Food Blogger’s thoughts on things, read all about “10 Things Ina Garten Thinks When It Rains in the Hamptons,” “This Is All I See When I Skim Food News Sites,” and “My Ultimate One Ingredient Meals Cookbook.” We look forward to reading that chapter on cottage cheese.
RELATED: The New Yorker Imagines a World Without Kale Just to Make Fun Of You Greens-Loving Hipsters
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