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WATCH: Eric Greenspan Compares Doughnuts To Fake Boobs; We’re Both Aroused And Furious

We are firmly anti-objectification of women, but we’re pretty pro-sexualization of food. Food is sexy. So we sort of wish Eric Greenspan had quit while he was ahead in his most recent installment of The Melt Master, because his gruyere-custard-filled, gruyere-glazed, caramelized-onion-and-crispy-ground-beef-topped caraway rye doughnut was naughty enough to stand on its own. He didn’t need to add insult to decadence by proclaiming of doughnuts: “Like a good implant, there’s nothing natural going on, but you still can’t help but wanna put it in your mouth.”

Greenspannn, we want to like you so badly because we respect your formidable sass game, but you make it so hard for us as women! Check out the full episode below and direct your outrage to the comments.

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