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Tonight In Food TV: Kitchen Fires, Severed Fingers, & ‘You Cook Like A F*cking Baby!’

Tonight on the two-hour Hell’s Kitchen/MasterChef extravaganza on Fox: somebody loses a finger. A “whole f*cking finger,” apparently. While the Girls Team begins forming alliances on Hell’s Kitchen, the boys lose a chef to the ER. Possibly…FOREVER! Will he ever cook again? Will Grey’s Anatomy steal this for a heartfelt storyline about the chef who lost his finger in a reality competition and only with the help of Dr. Calliope Torres and a new titanium finger will he achieve his dreams? Probably. And we’re demanding credit for the idea, Shonda Rhimes.

On MasterChef, the 18 finalists finally enter what Gordon Ramsay calls “the culinary theater of your dreams.” (Did he steal that from My Drunk Kitchen? It sounds like something Hannah Hart would say after her fourth jar-garita, no?) And, of course, someone promptly tries to burn it down.

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