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Top Chef Season 7 Winner Gets Own TV Show Because That’s What All Famous Chefs Do

Celebrity chefs crawled out of the oceans hundreds of millions of years ago, spending eons scuttling across dry land on all fours. They soon discovered fire, meat, and (skip forward a few million years of evolution) reality television, and now, having one’s own television show is like having an opposable thumb: you’re totally abnormal if you don’t, man.

So really, is it a big deal to announce that Top Chef season 7 winner Kevin Sbraga is getting his own show? Let’s go through the Checklist Of Evolutionary Steps that took him here:

  1. Be a chef
  2. Win major reality show (though, as seen with Carla Hall’s success, not an absolute requirement)
  3. Come up with a punny name involving food and sex (in this case, Get Trucked!, which is all about Sbraga’s enjoyment of motor vehicles)
  4. Select one of the following four scenarios, which are the only options available:
  •    Teach people how to cook things (the Alton)
  •   Travel the world and eat strange foods (the Bourdain)
  •   Be a racist (the Paula)
  •   Fix people’s restaurants and their lives (the Robert Irvine)

After completing these stages of celebrity chef evolution, the rest is simple: pitch your series to one of three networks (in this case, the Cooking Channel), and pray that you don’t get reduced to a webseries.

So yeah, Philly.com says that Sbraga’s show airs on August 15th. Watch him repair trucks or whatever, as long as you’re aware that he’s completed a Darwinian life cycle of celebrity chef evolution.

[Philly.com]

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Top Chefs Angelo Sosa And Kevin Sbraga Transition To Cruise Performers
Uh, So Top Chef’s Stefan Richter Is Going To Be In A Sylvester Stallone Movie
Beverly Kim Claims Top Chef: Texas Gave Her Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

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