Turkey Testicle Festival Is Officially The Worst Thanksgiving Tradition
In the most Midwestern of holiday traditions, Parkside Pub in Huntley, Illinois celebrates Thanksgiving Eve with their annual Turkey Testicle Festival, which we’re pretty sure isn’t on anyone’s Thanksgiving leftover recipe shortlist. The pub ordered 1200 pounds of frozen testicles this year from a farm in Michigan to be breaded, deep-fried, and served with Tobasco and ranch dressing to ravenous, testicle-craving crowds, who have been showing up since the 1980s to devour them.
Flavor descriptions range from “like chicken” to “deep-fried mushrooms.” Admission for the festival is $10, which, we presume, gives you all-you-can-eat testicle privileges, with the proceeds going to local charities.
“It’s obviously a product I want to sell out of. I don’t order extra,” pub owner Jeff Lovell said, in spite of the fact that 4400 people passed through the festival last year. You can see footage from the 2008 Festival below. Your move, Zimmern.

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