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WATCH: Torture Porn With Jamie Oliver!

Who decided to chain Jamie Oliver to a wall with fuzzy pink handcuffs? Was it a sick producer from YouTube’s Comedy Week, who saw the success of “Slap Jamie” and decided to take it to the next level? Was it Jamie himself, secretly more perverted than we all imagined? (Wait, why would that be a secret about a guy who calls himself the Naked Chef? Oh god, just put that away, dude.) In any case, Jamie’s handcuffed himself to a wall, where viewers can do anything (well, one of nine things) to torture – ‘scuse us, “tickle” – Jamie. Like, uh, slapping him in the balls with a rubber chicken. (In what universe is that tickling?!) 

Look, we’re proponents of Lawrence v. Texas and the entire “respect of private affairs in the bedroom” thing, but…please, Jamie, don’t ever put on a gimp outfit for your YouTube Channel. We beg you.

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