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What Have You Done, Cronut? The 7 Eyerolling-est Pastry Hybrids of 2013

In the fires of Manhattan, Dominique Ansel forged the One Pastry Hybrid to Rule Them All, the Cronut. And that pastry hybrid did exert dominance over the food world for an entire year, making television appearances, starting riots, and drawing tourists from around the world to his bakery.

In the spirit of our year-end food mashup listicles-slash-primal-screams, these are the people who saw Ansel’s formula and thought, “Oh boy, why don’t we pull two pastries out of a hat and try to turn them into a hot new item?” (These pastries also have reams of publicity written about them, so there you go. This is how you get food publicity these days.)

Duffin: Doughnut + muffin

Crookie: Croissant + cookie

Townie: Brownie + Tart

Dessurger: burger x dessert items, and a confection that would make Paula Deen blanch. From HuffPost UK:

“The Dessurger takes the form of a sugar-coated brioche bun coated with lemon custard, a pistachio praline patty with vanilla parfait, topped off with whipped Chantilly cream and blackberry jam.”

Piessant: pie + croissant

Doughscuit: doughnut + biscuit

Turkey Doughnut: turkey + doughnut (+ cranberry sauce)

All photos of Pastry Frankenstein Monsters are from their respective Dr. Victor Frankensteins, AKA the bakeries that brought them to life.

RELATED:
Burger Orgy: The 11 Biggest Ramen Burger Ripoffs of 2013
The Cronut Internet Ordering Saga Was All The Emotions

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